The Art and Science of Transformation 

I sought my soul, But my soul I could not see. 

I sought my God, But my God eluded me. 

I sought my brother, And I found all three.

- William Blake

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This quote epitomizes Humanize Me.


As part of MyGuru, humanization and peace is a societal wellness issue. We can't have wellness without peace. Humanize-Me was a stand-alone organization but is now under MyGuru. We speak at schools, community centers and work places. We speak on humanization, depression, conflict resolution and wellness. Invite us into speak within your school, business or organization. We also do ACTS of good work and help people who suffer. Suffering comes in many forms. We gather people who believe that we are our brothers' and sister's keeper.  


Anywhere there is conflict and suffering, humanization is the answer.

Two Healing Groups Forming: 5 Minute Prayer and Wellness/Life Improvement


Welcome. We are trying to lift spirits and lives and are extending an offer to support the spiritual needs of people through daily prayer and lift the wellness and life restrictions of people through wellness/life self-improvement work. You need to register for the self-improvement group but can join and sit on our unity daily prayer as needed. We hope either or both bring you renewed peace and hope. 

First is a five-minute morning prayer. This is just a simple phone call where you dial in and go through a quick prayer process lead. This is a Christian format where we will speak of Jesus. The people going through it do not hold any position with any church. It is ultimately about love, hope, healing, mercy and feeling then offering God’s love. We dedicate time towards personal prayer intercessions (to pray for ourselves or others). This will be 7AM Monday through Saturday. Good for commuters, homebound, or those who stepped away, to pray with others and feel renewed love of God.


We do not post the dial-in details on the web-site as it is a prayer event and should have reverence. 


The second part is our group of people working on making personal improvements in their life, health, careers, or areas which they need help. We will offer an evening option on Wednesday’s at 7PM. This will be a time to positively rebuild, reframe the past year, renew your want for better and take steps to move forward. This is free to people who are experiencing struggle and not simply curious dabblers or people who want a free service. Please be considerate as space is limited to those who struggle to make ends meet and deserve better. to keep your page interesting.


To register simply use our contact page and use the subject Wellness/Life Free Group

What is in it for you?

You impact the world for the better in a simple, non-judgmental way. Wear or promote the message of our message-based movement. If you connect with this, then others will. If it makes the difference in one life humanizing another and bringing peace and unity, then you started a positive chain reaction. Just embody, wear or promote the message or have us or someone else speak. Or perhaps become an authority on de-humanization and start your own story.


Humanization is healthy and feels so good to get and give. Humanization lets people breathe. Humanization lets people be themselves and lets others do the same. Humanization is societal wellness. We can judge how healthy we are as a civilization based on how we how we treat each other. 


The Humanize Me is inspired by watching people hate each other because of ideology, insecurity or lacking kindness and ignorance. If you want a grass-roots movement where the people and the message speak, then this is it. We can start with the low hanging fruit. Humanization is broad in application but the ones that drive the initial need for this movement are:

  • Bullying and aggression in schools and work places
  • Social assassination where people gather and speak bad of someone not present
  • Hospital type settings where people are defenseless
  • Political polarization and the culture of intolerance and aggression


Are you dehumanized now by anyone?

How to know:

  • You feel harshly judged or attacked on the basis of a generality
  • You feel inaccurately judged and hurt from unfairness
  • You diminish your own value and accept less
  • You dehumanize others out of hurt and act like you have a license to hurt
  • You shrink from your personal capacity for your own greatness


Are you dehumanizing others?

How to know:

  • People who live in preconceived notions of certain groups of which you are intolerant and mean
  • People who think you are allowed to be hostile, harsh and aggressive
  • People who hate or have a serious broad sweeping dislike for politicians and supporters
  • People who blindly follow an ideology and feel that is the only solution
  • People who said something bad about another person which is not positive and fair to hurt them
  • People who over-celebrate another human - like an entertainer or politician

.

Pull people back to factory settings. Kindness.

Our world has beauty and pain. The root of human conflict is the act of dehumanization. Humanize Me is a way to help individual and societal wellness by reducing conflict and replacing it with peace. 


You and I can increase how often people see others as humans or just things to hate. This is the Humanize Me Movement! Humanize Me is NOT affiliated with a political ideology.

You have experienced it.

Have you ever been angry and someone showed you compassion and understanding and took away your pain? Have you ever received a hug and felt unity and peace? What if you felt that anger and hurt and there was no compassion shown? What if that anger and hurt was so intense that it needed a target to blame? It would take the unmet need of compassion and attack. 


If you know the release, peace and kindness experienced from receiving compassion, acceptance and understanding, then you have been humanized.

Where there is gossip, abuse, conflict, insecurity and aggression: there is dehumanization.

We are in a time where we know better but we are increasing depression, increasing polarization, increasing narcissism, increasing aggression, decreasing empathy and becoming desensitized to horrific acts. 


Humanization is lacking. 

Compassion is lacking. 

Connection is lacking.


Many schools and organizations teach anti-bullying, sexual harassment and anger management in addition to other programs. There is no reason for those lessons or programs when we can humanize people.  Humanizing makes it impossible to hurt or abuse anyone. It is the antidote to a sick environment. 


This is for all people who are the targets of people who simply dehumanized them. We need a nicer world. Humanization is the antidote to a poisoned world.

What we believe.

We believe the world is moving in the right direction and that we have more tolerance, education, freedom, less real poverty, distributed medicine and care. So, this should be good news. Unfortunately, we have more pain in a time of progress built on a small percentage of people who benefit by creating conflict. These are ideological activists which must create monsters of people. We relate to each other way differently now 20+ years after the first social media site and now with smart phones. Social sciences say specifically, we are making judgmental narcissists, breeding insecurity through comparison and in a world where everything is connected, and loneliness and depression are growing at frightening levels. Since only hurt people can hurt people, we have to understand and change why we have so many hurt people. What if you could make an impact and pull people back from that state? 


Human emotional pain which translates to mental pain very commonly stems from unmet needs. When we do not feel like we have been loved, cared for understood or have experienced compassion, part of us converts that unmet need into frustration and anger. That changes our behavior and ultimately creates a self-fulfilling cycle of getting more pain and then that justifies our aggression until it becomes our story and narrative. It is the biased filter through which we see life. Then, the emotional pain begins looking for a target of the pain and casts its crosshairs on groups or types of people or the population which does not agree with them. When that happens, the person or groups not in agreement is turned inhuman so that aggression can take place. Humanization, compassion, unity and connection can save people immediately and lift that darkness. It comes down to this: you cannot hurt someone that you have humanized.

How does it happen?

How does a human dehumanize? First thing which must be present is a notion that each person you have ever known or will ever meet, both nice or not nice is part of the same human fabric. Yes fabric. We are intrinsically linked like fabric. Do you believe that every person is our brother or sister? Of course. That is the starting point.


When someone or some group (activists who attack, ideologues) target and isolate people into groups (republican, democrat, race, religion, sex...) they are ripping the fabric into smaller pieces. A ripped fabric is no good to anyone. Society needs the fabric to be intact as it is all of us working together.


Next, people left large groups like religion starting fifty years ago and accelerating now. This isolated people. Since people are social animals and want to be in groups and given an identity, they sought out and replaced religion with politics and causes which create an us versus them scenario. When we compound with more time on screens with less social interaction, intolerance grows.


We cannot just be something and let others be so, we have created fear and made others responsible for our fear. Since fear can be created by ideologues, people see it as survival and that they are now in survival mode. Survival means that you can hate your enemy and attack (dehumanization).

Leaders of ideological areas of interest use raw emotion, reject self-constraint and reason and use the first law of persuasion which is to make people emotional. Groups need to make us abandon reason and they can control us. Emotions lie and we must all go back to seeking truth and reason. Take a break from our ideological ideas and ask what if what you think is partly a lie. What if it is a manipulation? What if you have been moved like a pawn in a game? Would you want to break free or be a robot and attack dog?


Insecurity, black and white thinking, fear, ignorance and a wanting to fit in are also reasons. When people gather and words are spoken about someone, that is not harmless. That affects the victims friendships, reputation, family, children and income. Speaking about people in what we call social assassination is a form of aggression and it is purposefully intended to hurt someone. You want people to believe what you say.


Dehumanization is our worst moment and one where we are not even happy. It is a shame-filled moment.

What topics does humanization cover?

As we say, anywhere there is conflict; humanization is the answer. Specific talks that we deliver address:

  • Bullying (school or workplace):  We are rooted in peaceful resolution. We discuss the profile of aggressors to remove fear. We provide tools based on this for neutralizing them and helping them see their behaviors. The training neutralizes the situation as it addresses the underlying cause. We provide situational factors to use, systemic solutions and mental and verbal jujitsu based on aggressor style. Finally, social assassination (talking about others which hurts people socially and in work).
  • Rehab hospitals where our elderly are at serious risk:  We create new narratives with the staff and help management create an empathetic culture for employees. We train the staff to see the patients as the people they are derive joy from participating in their life. We help pull staff out of their mind and into the moment and generate choice from humanization.
  • School/family/student conflict triad and the dehumanization of students:  Being treated like a college transcript. 'We conduct our Pressure Cooker talk which is a systematic breakdown leading to stress, depression and suicide. We discuss where stress is created, anxiety built and how control is unifying and brings back peace and love.
  • Aggressive political environments where we attempt to pull people from the extremes and return to the reasonable middle.  It is not okay to hate because of political reasons. It is not okay to hate others so quickly. We bring people back in time, discuss our greatest ideals and hopes, humanize each other and help people return. We help pull people back, let them breath and reduce the aggression in politics which makes us better. We teach wellness (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, relational) to groups as part of MyGuru.
  • We also teach:
    • Direct personal conflict resolution and safety.
    • Situational Awareness for Everyone (S.A.F.E.)
    • Verbal Jujuitsu to deal with social assassination types
    • Self-defense using situational awareness, current thinking and limited physical techniques.

Our Blog

Social Assassination - Ever Do It?

Have you ever been around people who kibitz, gossip, cooler talk, rumor mill? "Hey, did you hear...", "Look at..." and any other form of talking about people who are not present is social assassination. Did you know that? Did you think it was harmless? Think again. 


What we think is harmless is actually specifically destructive and intended to hurt. Did you ever notice that little voice inside which feels bad when you gossip about another person? Once more, w​hen we say anything that another person would not want us to say, we are knowingly hurting them. They do not deserve it. When we talk about people, we immediately hurt them. The question is do we know that and do we intend it? Yes and yes.


Social assassination is done on purpose. The reasons are different but someone who gossip has just socially assassinated someone. The ONLY chance we have is for people to be aware of the social assassination of gossip and identify people who do it and swear to never engage by giving an audience or saying "I don't know that about them because it did not come from them". "Even if it did who am I because I have my own faults". "Not mine to judge that person".' People will have grown by hearing that. If there is no audience or even better, if kindness and wisdom speaks, then it will reduce the amount of social assassination.


Social assassination through gossip is human assault. We are hurting another person. This is not natural and it hurts them and well it hurts you. Social assignation is meant to isolate a person and focus their entire existence on a fault that the person in judgement deems worthy of dismissing them as less than human. So, the people who hear this and hear that it is positioned as a negative judgement will now naturally eliminate them and feel that it is acceptable to spread that same thing about them. If we are still kind, we will feel ugly if we say something harsh about another. Perhaps it is so habitual that we just got used to carrying that poison. Undue it. Spread good. Admit wrong. Live in the light.


The assassinated people now have limited opportunities for friendship and love because they have been deemed "damaged goods" by people who are apparently not. This shrinks their worlds. They sense it. This always extends into family, spouses and kids and they are just extended collateral damage. In a workplace this HURTS a persons ability to earn and support their family, help an aging parent, pay for college or help them just live their lives. This is hideously irresponsible. You hurt their chances of making friends, getting promotions and enjoying their lives. All because someone wants to judge them from inside their empire filled with people they control.


So, if you talk about people then accept the examples above as a representation of your behavior and the implications. You have to make a decision to do it. If you have done it then there may be a bit of shame knowing that and that is the starting point. Now that you know, you know. This is your starting point. From here, you see people as doing the best they can with their stories and history. They do not need to be judged by you and if we can explore a person who sits in moral or cultural judgement; who are they? What type of person judges?


Well first the ignorant. Ignorance comes from many places. Ignorance is a lack of awareness and a lack of human awareness is a person living in abject denial of their own. They exist in the physical world only. A world of false constructs of winners and losers and they have doubled-down in this world being reality so that if you don't live up then you are subject to being judged. To judge someone is IMPOSSIBLE if you have looked at your own short comings or sins. "Those without sin cast the first stone". Pretty much case closed right there.


We do have a suffering cultural society. This is not just a rant of a know-it- all. The sciences and status of happy people say this. People are less happy. There are many reasons which are feeding off each other. They stem from remnants of dysfunctional families which creates realities where some part is rooted in fear and fear breeds insecurity and aggression. This culture creates people who see themselves as different or apart from others. This separation makes it possible. Next, a person who judges usually does this because they were judged. Perhaps harshly. Their judgement is hurt, anger at something or based on something that their ego owned as a strong point to use as the basis for judgement. Since we see ourselves in terms of what we deem important, we judge others based on this. The antidote is humanization and a dash of humility. To be responsible for our actions and not others actions unless they are hurting people. What kind of person does this? Do you know people who do this? Do not be part of this audience where they socially assassinate someone. Walk away.


Well obviously there is insecurity. If we see someone happy, better or something that causes some sting in our minds and hearts then well, you are making me feel bad so now I have a license to hurt you back. You don't. What we have a license to do is work on your insecurity so that we feel good about us. Your relationship to your reasons for insecurity are yours and only you can resolve it. It is easy and worth the effort. So we ask, what kind of person does that? Do we know people like this? Don't engage when you see it being done. Rise above. Don't call them out and cause problems, just take their audience away.


Status is another reason. People need to empire build and create a world of insiders and outsiders. You have to kiss the ring, play by someone else's control and be just like them or they will cast you out and pile on. If this seems reasonable, what kind of person does that? Is that a person to follow? Is that a good way to be (we can judge in this case because they are causing pain to people). Love is there but the behavior should stop.

So, understand what gossip is, ask yourself why you are doing it and know that you are hurting another person. Humanize is the antidote. Humanize yourself and the rest will take care of itself. 

Political Polarization: Choose Your Cult and Hate

People have views. Those views are based on beliefs. Those beliefs are reinforced to feel like they are life or death and real. We think that they are the ONLY way to see a situation and anyone who disagrees is a threat to our safety. Unfortunately, our system was set up to ONLY decide between one or the other party. Where you are, who you are with and what is presented emotionally at the time decides what we believe. Then we set out to reinforce this belief. Once it is ingrained, it is part of our identity, ego and survival mechanism. At the same time, there is another person who went through your belief foundation just like you did. You believe that you are right and they believe that they are right. It is really important to know that what you believe is neither 100% true nor does it need to be. It is just a belief. It feels certain so we double down and this creates a stronger emotional connection. It is JUST psychology!! Is is NOT TRUTH!! This is right from the world of psychology so you can relax. What you believe so fervently is not real: it is just a belief system.


The thing about belief systems which make them either good or bad is whether or not they are positive and empowering to you personally. With regards to being a good person, being a rabid ideologue will allow you to dehumanize others and that will make you mean and you will dislike or hate 50% of the US population simply because you decided to believe something was the only truth. What would we call someone who dislikes or hates 50% of the people in our country of 330 million? Is that a desired human trait? Is that a person who inspires the human race? Is that a person that we want to let get near power. Power to inflict rules or punishments. Of course not.


It is NOT good to be a political ideologue. It has way more to do with just political views. It is so mentally and spiritually unhealthy. It will ruin your life with hours or meaningless rants based on a belief given by others who are lost. Is this why you were born? When you were created on the day that you shined of newness, do you think the world wanted you to give up your critical thinking, soul and your identity to argue a really questionable belief system which is just one of a billion that you can have? Of course not. You were made for more.


So, if you are still reading, you have a choice. Can you understand that your deeply held political views were given to you because there are literally a billion ways to think about issues BUT because we have parties which only see one of two ways, you just accepted one. Now it is so emotional to you (not that it is real but because you were told it and then you believed it to reinforce it". So, can you see it now? This is just the way we set up beliefs but the question is do they empower good and beauty? Political ones which create ideologues who can't see more than one way are not good or healthy. What if you were free?


How to break a connection to the life of an ideologue. Simply admit a few meaningful things wrong with your side. There is no way they are perfect. Next, say at least three really positive things about the other side. Really be serious and have integrity. Would a jury say that what you said is really positive? It is in this that we break through!!


Now, if you did that, how do you feel? Can you feel that freshness? Can you feel air and do you feel less mean? Do you feel like you have grown? That is you being free of ideology. All you have to do is continue to not mindlessly buy what other activists, pundits and ideologues say.


I hope you enjoy this new you! 

Pressure Cooker: The American Family Experience

With too many children ending their lives, it prompted some thought about our own Acton community. Why do I think I have a right to talk about this? I am tired of suicide. I have known too many people with this is their life. I have something healthy to say.


Over time and discussing with people from other similar towns, this issue is pervasive. What are we doing that is making children see things as so hopeless and themselves so worthless. With depression rates increasing to epic levels, something is broken and we need to help these young people. And we need to help them now. Here is my take: we lack unity. On the other side of this terrible issue is beauty.


First, we need to look at the players and then the factors which influence them. Family, school, friends, screens, culture and the greater global world. So, these are the stakeholders and now we ask what is driving them? Top environmental contributors are family issues. So, with deep reflecting and understanding I want to both expose the basis for the family dark contribution with the idea that all actions are rooted in love. It is this love and need to protect through love which cause the first factor to exist: fear. Fear is pervasive now because fear forces us to pay attention. With a never ending world of media competing for our attention, they are driving more fear. So, parents are scared like heck. They are so afraid and feel so much pressure to make a child's life better that they can't but help be overwhelmed and pass this fear to the kids. The fear based on to the kids is based in competition and not falling behind. Parents used to just have kids, love, protect and feed. On the whole it was more relaxed. Now the world is pressure filled rooted in fear and the kids feel this.


Dr. Jean Twenge in her book iGens, states her research shows that kids these days are taking their time to grow-up. They are generally delaying getting their license or engaging in certain behaviors. They spend more time with families then kids in prior generations. Why? The feel pressure to grow-up and live the existence their parents do. They don't want the crap life of gerbil wheel, corporate owned and miserable existence they are witnessing. They are more idealistic. So, we have parents by words and actions conditioning their kids to fear the world. Parents are adults with income and resources. Imaging being a kid maybe with depression or self-worth limits and no resilience and this is overwhelming. In many cases, this forces parents into this great lie of having to get into the best school for even a chance of a good life. They build their kids at the expense of their their kids self-acceptance to be an external image to attract colleges. Kids feel this.


Parents. the world we grew up in has changed. Back then it is get into a company and work hard. The world has changed where like the old adage said "Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life'. Well this is true for kids now! The internet has allowed for anyone to have a global audience and to make a life and living following their passions! Imaging this is available for your kids! Of course top schools like MIT, Harvard, et al., make life easier for those who get in and through it. However, since you set the table for your kids and will pass on your hard work to them, they don't need to do anything amazing but to work at their passion and apply them with work. Parents, relax. The media is not real OR your friend. Things are never as bad as they make it. Look at lives of people. Most of it is okay. Just be okay with being okay. Breathe. Your kids will be okay! Be a loving parent because they need that now and later!


Next, control. A CEO of a 100,000 employee company who has to keep Wall Street happy and make sure his employees can earn a living has an immense amount of responsibility right? Perform poorly and lives are altered. A middle manager with a boss above them and a demanding team below them has WAY more pressure than the CEO. Why? What is the difference? Control. Control is the issue. People who feel that they can control their path and that they can make their decisions feel less pressure. Pressure sucks and it breaks people after a while. So, your kids, our students are the middle managers in this scenario. They have the pressure of school performance from teachers and administrators, competing for a place in a college, other students who lie about their grades or talk out their butts about being accepted to amazing schools with amazing earning opportunities. Kids can't just follow passions. they have to be high-earners. This is NOT TRUE!. Below the kids are parents with the pressures of demanding from the kids. The kids do not want to let the parents down and so they feel unrelenting pressure. Kids don't have control. They are just doing what they think smart and wise adults are helping with YET we are selling them out. Kids, you have control! It does not mean that you can just give up and flake off. It means that you can just be okay and you will be better than 99% of the people on this planet in comfort. You are okay. If you read this, bring this to your parents. Tell them if you agree or where I am wrong but tell them about this. What transition is CRITICAL here is to move your driver from external pressure motivation to your internal motivator which is your passion. What would be amazing about doing a good job.


Now we have schools contributing to this. Schools in Acton (a very nice town) are the determining factor of why so many young families live here. If the schools tank, the property values drop. Did people know this? If they just become child-centric and relax, then performance drops. When that happens, values drop, taxes increase, heads roll, identity crisis, layoffs and people leave. We are built on schools and schools have to answer the call. I have seen such sincere care about students and I have seen a check the box mentality. Schools need to know why they are. ABRHS has a great school and it is doing what it can to provide services. However what I am uncomfortable with is our community break then fix mentality. What we need to be is a well-community which focuses on drawing out intrinsic motivation rather than focus on feeding the machine.


If schools know their identity and realize that kids from our school are not getting into top schools at a level higher to justify our intensity then we can relax and focus on beauty. We have a percentage of students which should probably be in private schools which are generally higher performing. It is the job of the school to know its identity and to not let the maniacal and unhealthy perspective of top-performers have on other kids who live more balanced lives. The nature of constant comparison makes people really question and many times not like who they are. A school is there to educate and that will never change. Driving the top line to students putting out 4.0 - 5.0 GPAs are not happening in silos. Those students are broadcasting their exploits. Their fixation becomes the basis for which all kids are judging themselves. Ever go to the beach, reveal your beach body and a physical beauty ends up being next to you? What are your responses to that? Appreciation? Insecurity? People with an over indulged body (I am a trainer as well) do this from a place of insecurity (unless it was arrived at by athletic performance). Physical appearance we all know makes nobody more valuable or important and neither does academics. What does is whether a person is kind, likable and helpful to others. Trust yourself to teach and lead through well-being. Imagine a school of authentically happy kids and not another brick in the wall.


So, if parents, kids, insecure bragging kids and people controlling our school identity can create unity, we will have something better than college resumes. We will have well-formed, strong, happy and resilient kids. 

Egos, Edginess, Individualism and Insecurity

With the rise in social media driving people into a new reality of image management, we are growing narcicists. We are growing people who live on image but are inside less happy than ever. Building our ego to look like we have it all together or that we are special actually creates a separation within us and then we have something which we must now protect. It has been said that the most powerful part of personality is our demand to defend who we say that we are. If we sold that we are amazing, we will forever need to serve that master. Welcome to anger, insecurity, isolation and potentially depression.


Ego is needed. Who we are is needed. However notice what I said. I said who we are. With ego driven people, it becomes what we are, what we do and what we have. Pay close attention to the difference in those. Healthy who we are is character lead and what we are types put out something they are for the purposes of impressing people (sometimes what they say is exxageration or lie), to be liked, to take a position of importance or to dominate by looking powerful. It is on leaders or organizations to demonstrate that identity is WHO we are and not what.


How many times have we known people who achieved great things but were emty and vapid inside? They met the external constructs of success but contrasted against good personality and character traits they did not focus on these and cultivate deep character. The result is usually intolerable.


Movie characters are amazing but let's think about what those people would be in our lives. Let's rewind to the height of the Tom Cruise era. Yes, Top Gun. There is a particular shot in that movie which is what inspired this awreness in me. Tom played Maverick (yuck right - like saying self-absorbed egotistical loner), was walking away in his jeans and famous leather flight jacket like he had hip displacia. Have you ever seen a person that you took seriously walk like that? That is an ego, narcisistic driven character. The thing about narcicists is that they are great at winning our attention and fall apart when it comes to closeness. It is impossible to be in a great relationship with a self-absorbed narcisist. So, this so not be idolized in super-high performers who promote their brand. The world needs more "who am I" people than "what am I".


When you are talking to people, notice if they throw out something in their story about how they have expert opinion so that your part of the conversation has less value. That could be a power move and many times just insecurity (that is a compliment) or it is excitement. It could just be a person with something on their mind and excitement to interject it. What determines this is whether they speak to build a better conversation or to demonstrate greatness. Once again, the difference is if they create more unity in the conversation or make it more them-centric. The ultimate challenge here is that people who pull attention to things which they take superiority can make others feel like less.


We have a rise in the dark triad of which is narcicism. Having a narcicist in your life can be problematic. Sometimes people are egos or edgy where they are always trying to show how cool they can be. Well "cool" is a fake, external construct. An image made up by which people can draw attention to themselves. Why? Why would they want this? There are many reasons. What is important is that you see it for what it is and choose to reward it or not by being a second class part of the conversation. I sometimes think that I did not start talking to watch a show but instead to have a conversation. The challenge here leading back to the message of humanization is that these people are in some ego-centric state.


Ego-centric means that they are self-identifying as separate from. Humanization is at the core unity. Perhaps it is nervousness or insecurity and if so, then be with them to relax. If not, then notice if you are a person or audience. Choose what you want from there. Know that the more people who separate themselves to be adored, the more loneliness we will have. When people boast, people make a decision to let bother them or out boast them. More kindness. 

Celebrate "Forgiveness Day"

Is it Forgiveness Day again?? Forgiveness Day falls on the everyday of every month. What feels better than forgiveness?


It is one of those feelings which resets our hearts and opens our lives to positivity and love. Unfortunately, we are in an era of attacking people for things they did long ago and treating it like we are the people they want us to be rather than the people we became. If a person does wrong, they feel it. We have to look at a couple of things for this to be possible.


Situational dynamics are always where I look first. Every person in prison has done something the law determined to be a reason to separate them from us. However, I contest that those poor people paid the price of everyone who had contact with them in their life. People don't just do wrong. People who are in prison are just partially at fault and the part of them that is at fault can ONLY happen because people around them failed. These poor people most times were born into lives of chaos, crime and dysfunction.


They start as children and live to the level of dysfunction set for them. Just look at incarceration levels. Are children of traditionally raised (two parents, careers, safe neighborhoods, good schools, well-crafted families and siblings) more likely to go to prison? No. Dysfunction, drugs, decay, lack of proper rearing, lack of education and support, non-aggressive and violent neighborhoods, schools and families where education is fostered, dark behaviors are managed out and everyone wants a good life are all involved. Never blame the person without blaming the community and in most cases, the people closest to them. There is no criminal without the dysfunction. People want good. Also, if a person goes to prison it is because they did a crime. A crime is not who they are it is what they did. Their future is not labeled by that. If they are earnest, are sorry and are trying to better their lives and character than that is all we can ask. They are people and forgiveness plus repentance and living a better life as a result is all we can ever do. They are not the same person who committed the crime. Stop labeling people and let them live free so they can have a second chance. Bury it. It could be you. What would you want?


Next, "he without sin cast the first stone." Take a deep and long look at your work. Not just for the egregious acts but the ones of omission. In Saving Private Ryan, there is a scene where an American soldier chooses not to shoot an enemy. That enemy later kills at least one other American. That is at least rooted in a beautiful sentiment. However, it is not always what we do to someone but knowing that we have put someone in a bad position. Maybe a bad person was in their life and as a result, bad happened. We need to see how we are hurting people (take a good look because some people are really good at not wanting to notice the hurt they inflict and hide behind a reason).


We are all so offended and we simplify really complicated situations. We are so used to the modern voyeuristic nature of social media and it has made us judge, jury and executioner. We hunt people rather than focus on our lives for both at what we did, those ways we hurt people (even if we act like we didn't) and spread rumors, made schoolmates or family members targets of our insecurity and jealousy. Nobody is without sin or innocent so when you want to judge, just pause and think of your faults.


With the existence of social media, we live in an era of broad brush inferred offense where the court room is the media and the jury are the consumers. Hostility, anger, revenge and all the other dark emotions are a poison pill that we take hoping to make the other person sick. Seek peace. Seek forgiveness and grow your light. 

LGBTQ Shout out!

So, we talked about race and a similar issue is our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. How can we have people who feel judged and harshly treated for being who they are? How can we have people who even have one moment of thought in a day, that they can't express who they are? Well enough of that!


What I am so excited for is the more open we are all with human sexual expression and gender roles. However to tap the breaks, the speed of change is very hard for many people. It does not make them bad people or any kind of "ist". It just makes them a person who grew up in a certain time and change requires lots of work. Just like there are probably things you should do but don't because of it being too much work, we cannot blame them or draw more energy from them. We need to accept them as we seek acceptance ourselves. That is first.


Next, I sometimes feel that all minority groups, LGBTQ groups or anyone for that matter think there is one party and you are not invited. This party is run by white Christian males (which explains all the overt racism and sexism aimed at white guys who never held the power to impact your life anyway. Those people are long dead). The question I want to ask is how would it feel if we were not as bad as some people want to make us feel?


As a white, Christian man, they don't want me either. I grew up poor and very uneducated. I was never given a hand. Then I did what I needed to do to get to a better place in life and realized that there IS no party. There are just individuals focused on living comfortably. They are all scared and insecure and through INDIVIDUAL weakness they latch-on to each other for group think and group stink. Here is the thing; people hate, attack or do not recognize people for their own reasons. People are all focused on what they want to care about what you want. You are thinking that you should be welcomed in but there is NO SUCH THING. You are feeling rejected by something that people told you existed but it does not exist. It did exist but it does not. The war is over. The only people who are racists, sexist, or against any race, creed, orientation or anything are people with diseased mind. We can't go place blame of healthy balanced people for those who are sick and not thinking well. We would be screaming against labels as we are slapping them on large innocent groups of people.


So, if harassed, the person doing it is sick. They do not represent the well and the majority who don't care what you do and wish you a good life.